I AM SORRY

I have never understood depression.  I did not comprehend how someone’s mind could control them in such a fashion that they could not function or go to work. How could depression stop you from providing for your family?  Growing up in a single parent household my Mom knew that if she did not work, we would not survive. It was, what it was.

I have met hundreds of people who suffer from depression. I have watched how the disease eats away at their self esteem and their core. I would listen to their stories.  Some had lived with their depression since childhood while others had it triggered through a life event.

My empathy was grounded in ignorance.

It gets worse.

In my opinion I did not have the privilege of being depressed.  Yes. I said that, more than once.

That statement is vile.  It is ugly. It is abhorrent.

I am sorry.

The universe has ways to show us contrasting landscapes.

Sometimes we fight the lesson set out before us.

Sometimes we hide in our bias.

Sometimes we coat ourselves in our faux superiority.

Then one day the universe says, “Ok, Giselle. Here you go.”

For those who wake up each morning, and can not find the reason to get out of bed.

I understand.

For those who feel safer looking into the abyss, because for better or worse you understand it.

I will look with you.

For those who mask their illness through anger, contempt, slight, and indifference.

I see you.

For those whose mental pain has morphed into a physical pain.

I feel it.

For those who find it impossible to put one foot in front of the other.

I stand with you.

For those who know they are depressed but choose to bury it in the deepest pit in their mind.

I have time.

For those whose depression has corrupted and disfigured their belief in their values.

I am hurting with you.

For those who smile and laugh to shield from the stares and whispers.

I will help shield you.

For those who have lost the ability to be around others.

I will sit with you.

For those who can no longer answer the simple question: How are you?

I am here.

For those seeking help to manage their depression.

I join you.

For those who are not yet ready to seek help…

I love you.